thediarists:

It’s the worst feeling in the world, to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

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gravity

..Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity..
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile..
When I thought that I was strong
But You touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone..

Sara bareilles,
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how are you?

it's been along time since i haven't blogged. guess what? i miss it so much. like there's something i have to tell about, something i have to write. then i remember i have my old blog that i used to share my story.

here i go..
since i move to indonesia, my life completely different. i have new friends, new major in uni, new dorm, new problem, new habit, and the most important is I HAVE A NEW LIFE.
At one point that's all awesome but the other side is the opposite.

my new life is like a roller coaster. sometimes it goes up slowly than suddenly it goes faster to get right in the bottom.
i miss my old me. i miss my old life. i miss everything in the past. but now? i should probably live my life better than before. NO, its not "should" but HAVE TO.

this all about my regrets and searching for the actual reason why i'm here.

everything will come once god decided that i deserve the thing.
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